Meaningless

Meaningless

Lacking significance

Forced

Not natural or sincere

Unnecessary

Dispensable and unwanted

I sit alone staring at the moon wondering who I am…

Toying with the idea that maybe not one other person in the world is doing the exact same thing

Trying to find memories of you in the stars

Wondering if you’re dreaming tonight or if your mind is blank

As I watch the light summer breeze rustle the leaves outside

I realize that maybe it’s just easy

Maybe it’s just comfortable

To revert back to who we were – trying to blend who we are

Significant

Important in effect

Natural

In accordance with nature

Essential

Cannot live without

Bed Time

You know that time of night when you finally get to lay down. You’re exhausted. Your eyelids are heavy. Your feet ache. You wash your face, brush your teeth, slip on your comfy PJ’s and set your alarm. Your pup is already asleep at the bottom of the bed and you slide your feet under the covers - Your head hits the pillow and…

It happens.

Every question you could ever ask enters your mind

The whys and what ifs

All your mistakes replay over and over

Your wishes and wanting

All the tears

All the pain

All the… was it worth it

Who I am

What does my future hold

And suddenly you’re awake

Your subconscious

Does somersaults down the hill of your past

And your heart

Aches for the arrow of the future

Then you have to decide to back up, stand still or fly…

I am not afraid to love

I am not afraid to be all in… hand my heart over

Be passionate, intimate, the best woman I can be

But I’ll admit

I’m afraid to let someone love me

Not just anyone

You

I’m afraid to let you love me

All my mystery

All those things I hide inside

That no one has yet understood

I’m afraid I’ll fail to be who you want

You’re like the sky

And I’m just a girl holding tightly to a kite

Loving the clouds

But afraid to fly amongst them

Her heart and soul are made of poetry

Her blood runs thick with ink

She’ll write your part in her story

With the pen inside her thoughts

So many pages inside her brain

Crowding what is here, what is now

Many people have read her pages

Skipping through words and phrases

It’s been awhile since someone dug deep

And found the pages settled in dust

The ones stained with marks of pain

The ones curved with drops of tears

There are poems she turns over to hide

And poems she keeps pushing to the front

One for each moment in her memory

For each person who has come into her life

Endless stacks of paper

Ink footprints on her heart

Some with just one sentence

Some with a very major part

She writes and writes to remember where she’s been

Holding on to what has been done

Hoping to find that maybe one day

She’ll be able to write a lasting one…