I don't want to be alone.

I don't want to feel broken anymore.

I don't want to let you go.


Through my journey of losing a man I loved with every inch of my soul, I've learned some things...


* "I love you" and "I'm in love with you" are two very different phrases.
Relationships can be passionately intense - especially at the beginning. Sometimes when the fire dies down, we begin to question, but that doesn't mean you are no longer in love.

* Just because I love him doesn't mean he loves me.
The hard part in relationships is finding the one who loves you as much as you love them.

* Sometimes I'm not as kind as I think I am.
Love brings out the best in me. Love also brings out the worst in me. I trust too easily and I put myself on the line - - so when things go wrong, I can be mean. There is no better feeling than being in love and no worse feeling than losing that love.

* My heart and mind play tricks on each other.
Emotions are misleading. My heart and my mind seem to argue a lot. And then my perception of what I wish would happen gets the better of me.

* Forever is scary, but forever is what I want.
When we decide to commit, we also decide to let go of other possibilities. Making a forever decision can be scary, but fear is part of that leap. There are so many positive things I love about him and so many possibilities that being with him allows.

* Missing him still hurts. It will always hurt. It's indefinite.
Physical pain is temporary, but emotional pain embeds itself in your heart. It may not be constant, but it comes back again and again. The worst part about missing him is knowing that I miss someone I could have spent forever with.


I've come to a point where I know I can't make it on my own.
But I find myself still wanting to be inside your hug - - even if it's not forever    

i am lines of poetry

and pieces of quotes

linked together

by song lyrics

and midnight text messages

and my tears have a tendency

to damage paper and smear the ink

but I want you to be okay

with this, with me

because my soul is brave enough

to give away pieces of my heart

to those who need it

and maybe I was never whole to begin with

-Stephanie

It's about who you miss
At 2 pm when you're busy
Not 2 am when you're lonely

i remember waiting for you that day in the park
my camera in hand
not really thinking that day was different than any other day
until you walked up to me and i couldn't quite catch my breath

i remember waiting for lunch time
watching the clock and trying to calm the butterflies in my stomach
hoping that you couldn't tell how nervous i was
and sinking into that first kiss

i remember endless nights waiting for you to text
trying to will you to want to talk to me
dreaming of a different reality
wishing you had chosen me from the start

i think a part of me
will always be waiting for you