Do you ever see something that instantly fills your heart with red hot anger... so much that you burst into tears because you're not sure what else to do.

I let you become my happiness
And that's where I went wrong

The truth can be heartbreaking
But I'm done with the lies

I miss you.

I miss coming home to you and feeling safe in your arms.

I miss having someone help me carry groceries into the house.

I miss hearing you hum in the shower and watching you brush your teeth.

I miss making dinner with you.

I miss sitting next to you watching our favorite shows.

I miss those moments when one of us would lead the other into the bedroom…

Or when we’d just end up on the living room floor.

I miss hearing I’m the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen.

I miss the texts that said “I can’t wait to see you.”

I miss talking about the future and making plans.

I miss laughing with you… I miss hearing your laugh.

I miss looking into your eyes.

I miss spoiling you. I miss when you’d spoil me.

I miss when you wouldn’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

I miss how sometimes you’d make me late to work.

I miss being upset when you don’t do the exact right thing and then realizing I love everything about you anyway.

I miss when you’d tease me.

I miss taking walks with you.

I miss having a man who loved me so deeply, sometimes I couldn’t breathe.

I miss you.

I miss you every single moment of every single day.

God, I miss you…

And you don’t even exist.

Remember that day? When you leaned in and kissed me? The day you changed my whole world.

What about that night when we couldn’t hold back from each other any longer…

Or watching the moon and how you held me so tight because I was freezing…

Do you remember that feeling that made you come see me even though you had to sneak in?

Remember my birthday? Your birthday?

Remember watching the sunset? The promise?

I remember. I remember it all and I think about it often. I remember loving you like I’ve never loved anyone before. I remember wanting every part of you – good and bad. And I remember letting fear creep in my heart. I remember letting other people get in my head. I remember convincing myself that we weren’t right for each other.

And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for not treating you always like the rare gem you really are. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for letting you go instead of talking through my feelings.

I never meant to break your heart. I never meant to push you away. I never meant to give myself the loneliness I had before you came.

I apologize for my insecurities. I apologize for wondering if someone could make you happier than I could. I know I am difficult. I know who I am is a lot to handle.

Mostly, I am sorry that you may not know I’ll never be anything but grateful for every moment spent with you.